Off-Season Posting Schedule

We've officially entered Off-Season Blogging Mode here at the MZone.  Oh, we'll still be putting stuff up, just probably not every day (unless of course if Ohio implodes again like they did last off-season).  So check below this post for new nuggets of MZone goodness.

Be sure to follow us on Twitter @MZoneBlog as we'll still be tweeting away during the off-season.  Plus, we'll let you know when we have new stuff up here.

M Go Bo(no)?

Benny and SiC both sent us this pic of the cover from the latest edition of National Enquirer. 

I guess everybody is jumping on the Michigan bandwagon since the arrival of Brady Hoke.

Buckeyes Behind Bars: The Magazine

Our friend Doug sends us the picture of this magazine cover below.  Yes, it's real. As he wrote in his email:

Someone brought it into work, not sure where he got it. It's a weekly magazine, maybe intended to embarrass people into not breaking the law, but not sure.

I have a hunch this will probably end up having more pages each week than TIME and NEWSWEEK combined.

The best bowling celebration you will ever see (yes, bowling)

I love the off-season. It allows me to put up posts like this.



"Who do you think you are?!  I AM!"

Uh...okay.

Sign of desperation in Columbus

This could be the funniest thing I've seen in a loooong time.  It's a sign located inside the Woody Hayes Athletic Center:

 

Yes, Urban Meyer is trying to woo recruits by implying they'll get a better education at Ohio State than Michigan.  Somewhere the editors of US News & World Report just spit food and drink all over their computer screens after seeing this one.

Stop, Urb.  My side hurts.

Meyer must really be starting to feel the heat being placed on him by the recruiting machine that is Brady Hoke if this is his sales pitch for Tosu.  As our friends at Maize and Blue nation said, "If you're going to compare Ohio State to Michigan, that last thing I would go after as the Buckeye coach would be quality of education."

Seriously.

I guess this is the future job interview process Urb is trying to sell to these recruits...

"Well, I was going to hire that kid from Michigan but he had a degree in General Studies.  And those Michigan degrees just aren't what we're looking for here at J.P. Morgan Chase.  No, we need more people like you, with your Family Resource Management degree from Ohio State.  Welcome aboard.  You'll be in the cubicle next to Johnson, another kid from Ohio State we hired due to his degree in Sport & Leisure Studies.  Hell, our CFO only went to Harvard because he couldn't get in to OSU's Sport & Leisure program."

Family Fucking Resource Management?  You mean balancing a check book?  

And did Urb really put "Criminology" on his list with a straight face?  I mean, isn't a Buckeye football player kind of a criminology major by default, simply by going to Ohio State?  Good news about that degree: you can do all your term paper research just by interviewing your teammates.

Look, Buckeye fans, I know you're starting to sweat.  You lost in football.  You lost in basketball.  And as you read this, Hoke is probably getting a verbal from another one of the top players in Ohio.  It stings.  I understand.  But this way lies madness...and a ton o' ridicule.

U-M student starts "Walk of Shame" shuttle

Nothing to do with college football, but it's February and this is perfect off-season filler:

Michigan senior Kellyann Wargo has started a shuttle service so co-eds don't have have to do the dreaded "walk of shame" the morning after.  For $5 bucks, one gets a ride anywhere in A2, a bottle of water and a discount coupon for the Plan B pill.

She's even made a commercial for her service...



Ah, college entrepreneurs.

Okay, this was worth posting about during the off-season

There isn't much that would make me come out of my off-season blogging hiatus (having a life is nice).  But then I saw that Michigander and self-proclaimed huge Michigan fan Kate Upton made the cover the latest SI swimsuit issue.  So, thinking of you, the MZone reader, I believed it was my duty to report on this fact... as well as include several photos.

You're welcome.

Beach shot by WALTER IOOSS JR/SPORTS ILLUSTRATED

Tide Teabagging Scandal Really Puts this Commemorative Shirt in New Light

The jackhat who teabagged the passed out LSU fan after 'Bama beat the Tigers in the BCS title game was arrested and jailed.  Brian Downing, 32, of Smiths Station, AL was booked on charges of sexual battery and obscenity after officers met him at his attorney's office in New Orleans.

Yes, I can't think of a more appropriate place than a jail cell for a person who likes to rub his genitals up against another dude against his will.  Good luck with that, Brian!  I'm sure your other cellmates in LOUISIANA will be very understanding and realize you were just joshing around with that Tiger fan, huh?

But that's all really just preamble to the picture below.

Is it just me or, in the wake of the Tide Teabagging Scandal does this shirt design commemorating 'Bama's National Championship just seem...wrong?

Maybe the text at the bottom should read, "He's not dead...he's just passed out and getting teabagged."

Happy New Year from Columbus: Now take cover!

Michigan fans have experienced first-hand what a hellhole Columbus is during visits to the 'Shoe for Michigan-Ohio State games. But apparently the city's suckness is not limited to rivalry weekends. The video below was taken in C-bus this past New Year's Eve. As the person who posted it on the vid's YouTube page says:

Listen for about five minutes with your eyes closed and imagine where this video might have been taken. I think this speaks for itself.

Right around the 4 minute mark is where it really gets Fullujah-esque.



(HT: DC)

Hey, Sparty -- Get off my floor!

Would've put this up yesterday but was too busy doing my cyber-duty and protesting SOPA/PIPA.  But today it's back to blogging.  So, without further adieu...

Here's the wallpaper Andy made in the wake of Michigan's 3rd consecutive victory over MSU. Simply...beautiful.

MZone on strike today to protest SOPA & PIPA

If I had any clue how to dig into the MZone's HTML without fear of totally screwing up everything, you would be looking at this more professional and impressive strike page.  Since I'm lost when it comes to the code stuff, you get this half-ass attempt instead.  But the intent today is the same: to join websites Google, Wikipedia, Bluehost, Craigslist, Reddit, Mozilla and hundreds of others to protest Internet censorship bills SOPA and PIPA.

For the record, we are TOTALLY AGAINST sites that simply exist to traffic in stolen TV shows, movies, music and the creative efforts of others.  Internet piracy is a real problem.  However, when the decision as to what constitutes such creative thievery is left to a handful of entertainment companies and folks like Rupert Murdoch (who is for both the bills as you can see via his tweets), then I get more than a little nervous.  These are, after all, the same companies that tried to stop the VCR from ever being citing piracy in the famous Betamax Case  (Note: I would have linked to Wikipedia's explanation of that case.  But since they're dark today...)

Yes, Internet piracy must be stopped.  But these bills aren't the answer. 

Click here to get an overview of both sides of the debate.

Click here to contact your representative in Congress.

'Bama "grayshirts" new OC after oversigning coaches

(from MZone wire reports) TUSCALOOSA, AL -- The MZone has learned that newly hired Alabama offensive coordinator Doug Nussmeir is being asked to sit out the 2012 season and join the Crimson Tide staff next year because Nick Saban has signed too many football coaches.  Nussmeir, who had been the offensive coordinator at Washington, found out only after he and his family arrived in Tuscaloosa on Monday afternoon.

"Coach Saban said he wished he would’ve been able to tell me before I quit my old job, sold my house, moved all the way across the country with my family and had six other coaching offers I turned down instead of telling me now," said Nussmeir as he stood next to his crying wife and kids on the front lawn of the new Tuscaloosa house that they can no longer afford.  "He (Saban) said the only reason he can’t have me join his staff for this season is because he can’t have too many offensive coordinators.  He can only have one.  And he hired three.  But he said he was going to bring me in for the 2013 season.  And I know it's true because he said he would pinky swear that he would keep his word about that – which has to really, really mean something.  I mean, it's not like he offered to just sign some random piece of paper."

So what happened to Nussmeir's new job between the time he agreed to it on Friday and the time the offer was pulled on Monday?  According to MZone sources, after Nussmeir accepted Saban's offer, the Tide head coach then made an offer to Oklahoma State offensive coordinator Todd Monken on Saturday and Stanford OC Pep Hamilton on Sunday.  When both said yes, it left Nussmeir as the odd man out since Washington's offense wasn't as highly ranked as Oklahoma State's or Stanford's.  No word yet on whether Monken or Hamilton will be next to get &^%$ by Saban on this one.

When the MZone asked Nussmeir what he was going to do this fall since all the prime OC jobs are already filled at this point, Nussmeir said he was going to stay in Alabama.  "Coach Saban said he'd help me get a job at the Piggly Wiggly during the time I'm not on his staff.  What an awesome, caring man, huh?"

While, Nussmeir seemed understanding about having his job yanked away at the 11th hour, other assistant coaches weren't so forgiving of Saban.

"It's deplorable," said new Florida OC Brent Pease.  "A person agrees to something, doesn't look elsewhere because he thinks he's set, then is told at the last minute, 'Sorry, you're on your own'?  And that's supposed to be okay?  I can't believe there's not a national outcry about this.  But, as usual, the ESPN's and Gary Danielson's of the world aren't saying shit.  They only care about the players.  Typical."

Last summer, the SEC instituted limits on the number of assistant coaches a team can have.  But Saban, notorious for having extra coaches to his staff at Alabama, was unfazed at the time.  "It's not going to be that much of a management issue for us to be able to continue to create the same number of opportunities for young coaches and just try to manage it a little better."

Alabama coach Nick Oversaban reveals how many
coaches he's over the limit for the 2012 season

Well done, MZone readers

I tweeted about this the other day but felt it deserved its own post.

Last December we asked MZone readers to help the state of Ohio come up with a new slogan for their license plate.  Well, the results are in and apparently you made your voices heard.

Put it this way, here's the opening paragraph from the The Plain Dealer story about the license plate campaign:

COLUMBUS, Ohio — It's pretty clear: Ohioans love God. And they also love to mock Ohio State football.

Uh, I'm going to go out on a limb and say the "they" the writer is referring to aren't Ohioans.  Just guessing.  Because here was another paragraph later in the story:

But some were downright mean and surely won't make the final cut, such as "Worst State Ever," "O-Lie-O" and 81 votes for phrases containing the word "sucks." You get the picture. 

Priceless.  Finally, the story mentioned this:

But about half of the OSU-related suggestions referenced the school's embarrassing recent NCAA scandal, including "Free tattoos."

Terrelle Pryor, the former OSU quarterback who left the school in 2010 amid scandal, pulled in nearly 800 votes from fans or haters, many of whom cannot spell his first name -- there were seven different variations.

And then there was Pryor's coach, Jim Tressel, who was booted from the school and subsequently punished by the NCAA over the same issue.

Tressel received only 16 votes, far fewer than the football program's most popular coach ever, Woody Hayes, who reeled in 656 votes. Even Hayes' arch-nemesis, Bo Schembechler, former coach of That School Up North, got 225 votes. Go figure.

Yeah, go figure.

Best of all, the link above for the Plains Dealer  contains a searchable database of all the submissions.   Gee, I wonder how variations on "Buckstache" got five submissions? (Although the MZone takes no responsibility for whoever submitted "Titty Fucking" as their suggestion.  Really?  "Titty Fucking"?!)

Anyway, I just think it was mighty neighborly of so many MZone readers to help Ohio out.  Well done, folks.  Well done.

Ohio State, this is your fan base...

How are we gonna make it through the off-season?  Like this...



And this...



And it's only January 11th.

Buckeye fans: The blogging gift that keeps on giving.

And the new most-watched MZone video is...

As a college football nut, I know I should be excited about the title game tonight.  But I'm not.  Not on January 9th.  Not a for a rematch.

However, what I am excited about is that we have a new most-viewed MZone video (at least from MZone 2.0) and it's very appropriate that it became #1 this weekend as it's LSU-centric.  Clocking in with approximately 157,000 views, The Les Miles Hand Clap Song passed Michigan Fans Discuss Rich Rodriguez (152,000+ views) over the weekend.

Is this a sign for Miles' Tigers?  Leave us your prediction in the comments section.

The "healing" picture you would have gotten had Michigan lost

As I watched the initial ugliness of the Sugar Bowl play out on my TV -- .a 0001 yards per carry average on first down, VT making 3rd-and-long conversions as if Gerg had been named honorary DC before the game, and a Hokie walk-on kicker drilling FGs like he was an All-American -- I mentally picked out the perfect "healing" picture if Michigan ended up losing.  Actually, it wasn't so much a healing pic as punishment.  If the team was going to give the effort that it initially looked like it was going to give, then I was going to give the same effort in finding a healing pic.

The photo I had in mind comes from a previous MZone post on November 1, 2007.  Entitled Caption Contest: M Go Mardi Gras!,  I thought the New Orleans connection and beaded content would have made it the perfect choice based the explanation above.  Thankfully, I didn't need to use it.  Because if you think a loss would have made you ill...

Here's the original post with the pic that would have been used:

Yesterday, reader WM sent us perhaps the greatest single reader-submitted picture in the history of the MZone. NSFW? Folks, this thing is Not Safe For Life!

First, the setup courtesy of WM's email...

"I'm a big fan of your blog and live in Houston, TX. I just traveled up there for the Michigan/Minnesota game, and I wanted to share a pic I took from that game, and more IMPORTANTLY, and picture from Mardi Gras several years ago. I'm wearing a Michigan hat and the rest....well, the rest explains itself! Thought you may be able to use the Mardi Gras pic for some lighthearted comedy!"

Talk about burying the lead. He sends a picture of Michigan running out of the tunnel which is good, you know. Then the one below...

(ED. NOTE: Please finish any and all beverages you are currently drinking before scrolling down)


Do you fine people have idea how many pixels of blackout I had to use to make this remotely semi-safe for our often-R-rated-but-never-X-rated site? Those were the largest areolas I've ever seen in my life - real, pornographic or imagined.

Sweet Jesus! He's being swallowed alive. His buddy right next to him could have been shouting WM's name at the top of his lungs and he wouldn't have heard shit.

And check out the reactions of the guy in the Dolphins hat on the left and the dude in the background. Priceless. Simply priceless.

Folks, this deserves a caption contest - nay, demands it. Here's what we came up with...

"New Orleans ear muffs."

Leave us your best in the comments section while I go gouge my eyes out with a tuning fork.

MZone Autopsy looks at the flip side of all things Sugar

Another downside of bowl games stretched out across January is that some of us have to jump back into the post-holiday work world and thus can't blog about the games as quickly as hoped.  So, after a slight delay, let's take one more look back at Michigan's Sugar Bowl victory in...

MZone Autopsy: Virginia Tech

*  Yes, it was an ugly game.  And yes, we got a little lucky.  But after several instances of Michigan getting the short end of the bowl karma stick, the Wolverines were due for the bowl gods to finally smile their way.  Phantom Touchdown, anyone?

Charles White's "TD" in the '79 Rose Bowl: Football Optional

* Along those same lines, in short time, nobody will remember how Michigan won only that we won. 

*  Okay, I admit it: I actually felt a little bad for the VT kicker when he missed that last FG in OT.  It was such an amazing story -- 3rd string kicker who'd never before made a FG in a game calmly making kick after kick -- that I hated to see it end that way for the kid.  On the flip side...

* How 'bout Michigan's kicking game?  From the depths of last season when any FG had about as much chance as a fan-pulled-from-the-stands halfcourt shot during a basketball halftime contest...to Brendan "Brunette Girls" Gibbons becoming absolutely money.  On the flip side...

*  Yeah, I know: Keith Stone Gibbons probably shoulda been called for a false start on that final FG for, you know, false starting. 

Keith Stone...or Brendan Gibbons?  You make the call

*I'm not usually one to bitch about play calling but when your All-American center can barely stand on one of his legs, it's probably not best to keep putting your wildly mobile QB under center.  Doesn't it make more sense to run out of the shotgun even more so Denard has a least a little more time in case your hobbled center gets beat?  Just sayin'.

*  Bitch, Part II:  Uh, for the record, that Fitz Toussaint running play on first down didn't work.  Like, ever.  So we might have wanted to get away from it at some point.

*  Is it just me, or throughout the years, does Michigan seem to be the team with the biggest disparity between how they played during the regular season and how they look in a bowl game?  My goodness.  Along those same lines...

*  Our defense gave up so many uncharacteristic 3rd and longs that I almost expected to see members of our defensive coaching staff rubbing stuffed animals on our players.

*  Frank Beamer deserves props for sending home his 2nd string kicker due to a curfew violation.  He'd already left his 1st string kicker back in Blackburg due to B&E charges.  So when his 2nd string kicker came back to the hotel late, how easy would it have been to have him run extra laps in the spring?  Or make him not run out of the tunnel with the team?  Or not let him kick the opening kick-off?  You know, BS "punishment" that Tressel or Dantonio would've doled out (yeah, I know -- Tressel and Dantonio would've had the B&E kicker there saying we "have to let the legal process play its way out" before dealing with it).  Instead, Beamer put the 2nd stringer on a bus -- A BUS -- home and went with a kid who'd never made a FG before.  I was impressed.  On the flip side...

*  Frank Beamer's 4th down "fake" in the 4th quarter was one of the more boneheaded call I've seen in a loooong time.  When everybody I was watching the game with is yelling, "Watch the fake!" as VT lined up to punt -- coming out of a time out -- you know you're not fooling anyone.  Don't understand it, but I'm thankful for it.

*  As for VT's OT TD/Non-TD, put it this way, if that had been Michigan, I'd still be pissed but it probably was the right call.  I think.  However, the question really isn't about whether I think he made/didn't make the catch.  To me, the question is whether or not there was indisputable video evidence to overturn the call that had already been made.  By that measure, I'm not so sure.  I had to watch the damn play several times to conclude that I think the ground aided the catch.  Point is, if the rule states that the replay must show indisputable evidence to overturn the call on the field, then I'm not sure this instance rose to that.

In the same way, I think Michigan got boned in the Iowa game re: the Hemingway TD catch/non-catch at the back of the endzone.  I thought he caught it, but once the initial call on the field was "no catch," it was going to be hard to overturn that based on the rule calling for indisputable evidence.

*  Don't fuck with Holly Rowe.  And no, that wasn't Angelique Chengelis from the Detroit News on the receiving end as some initially thought.

* The feeling after winning the game was one of the strangest I've ever felt after winning a big game.  After the Ohio State game, it was pure ecstasy.  After the Sugar, it was subdued relief.  On the flip side...

*   The pure joy I did feel was for Brady Hoke and those players.  Brady did something nobody expected this year.  11-2 and a BCS bowl victory?  Are you kidding me?  Yeah, I saw that coming.  And Junior Hemingway's emotion after the game was so pure.  He perfectly summed up everything those kids -- especially the seniors -- went through during their U-M careers.  Nice job to ESPN for cutting away from most of such a moving speech to play it underneath game clips.  You know, because why would we actually want to see it?

*  The oft-repeated stat that this is only the 5th U-M team with 11 wins is a tad misleading in that we now play 12 regular season games.  Put it this way, how many times do you think all those Schembechler teams that went 10-2 in the 70s and 80s would have notched an 11th win, especially if that 12th game was a home contest against WMU/EMU/PICK A CARCASS.

*  When's the last time you've felt this much optimism going into an off-season?  Damn, it feels good!  On the flip side...

* Not to rain on the optimism parade, but Michigan has to have one of the most brutal schedules in the country next year: Open with 'Bama in Dallas; ND, Nebraska and Ohio all on the road; then throw in likely top 10 team MSU at home.  It's gonna be tough but something tells me Brady will have the team up to the challenge.

Go Blue!  And congrats again to team 132 for a hell of a season!

Don't F*ck with Holly Rowe

Been meaning to put this up. Did you see ESPN's Holly Rowe elbow out another female reporter to get an interview with Brady Hoke after the Sugar Bowl?

That other reporter should've shoved her ass back.

Wallpaper Wednesday -- Sugar Bowl Edition

Our buddy Andy was there and turned the sweet taste of Sugar Bowl victory into today's wallpaper...

Brendan Gibbons would approve of this post

From last night's post-game presser...

Question: Brendan, what was going through your mind as Virginia Tech calls time out and it's overtime you're lining up that kick and thinking about lining up that kick? What was going through your mind before the kick in overtime, during the timeout and all that?

U-M KICKER BRENDAN GIBBONS: Brunette girls. Every time we were like struggling in kicking, Coach tells me to think about girls on a beach or brunette girls. So that's what we did. Made the kick.

Excellent idea.  So we put the picture up below.  Not for us, but for Brendan Gibbons.

And if you're struggling in your job today, try thinking of this brunette.

Hell, can't hurt.

(HT: MGoBlog for transcript)

Michigan - 23, Virginia Tech - 20

It wasn't pretty.  It might have even been a tad lucky.

I don't care.

Michigan wins its first BCS game since the 2000 Orange Bowl.

Go Blue! 

Sugar Bowl Open Thread

Folks, you have no idea how good it felt to type the name of a BCS bowl in the title line of this post.  We've come a long way from The Dark Period.  Now Michigan just needs to complete the journey today against Virginia Tech. 

Leave us your thoughts, comments and general what-not about the game in the comments section.

GO BLUE!

(pic via AnnArbor.com)

Know Your Foe - Virginia Tech

ED. NOTE:  My former MZone blogging cohort and Know Your Foe's creator, Benny, returns to pen today's very special Sugar Bowl edition.  And judging by the email I got from him late last night, Benny had a blast spending many hours of his holiday weekend blogging again:

OK, it's done. It's 1:24 am and I'm starving and exhausted. I'm going to take a shower.

There are not enough profanities to explain how angry I am right now. And the hatred I have for you is beyond description. I might just write a Wikipedia article about it.

And if you think I'm going to be doing this again in the fall when we play Alabama, well….actually that one might be really fun and interesting to write. I'm going to put it on my To Do list so that I get an early start.

Safe to say, I think Benny's thisclose to coming back to the MZone full time.

The Wolverines’ return to national prominence culminates in the Sugar Bowl on New Year’s Day January 2^nd January 3^rd when U-M faces the 11-2 Virginia Tech Hokies.  This marks only Michigan's second trip to the Sugar Bowl and its first ever game against Va. Tech.  So you must be asking, who are these Hokies and what should we know about them? To answer these and many other questions, the MZone is proud to present this year's special BCS bowl version of KNOW YOUR FOE.

History – Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University, more commonly referred to as Virginia Tech, was founded in 1872 when the Virginia General Assembly purchased the facilities of Preston and Olin Institute and incorporated the Virginia Agricultural and Mechanical College (a mouthful of information only slightly less confusing than the 200 pages of family history in The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo novel). Since then, the school has been chasing an identity in the shadow of the Univeristy of Viriginia. It’s very much similar to the big brother-little brother relationship that defines Michigan and Michigan State. Virginia is a nationally-recognized academic powerhouse, was founded by Thomas Jefferson, and has an alumni list that reads like a Who’s Who Hall of Fame. Virginia Tech – not so much.

In 1896, the name of the school was changed to Virginia Agricultural and Mechanical College and Polytechnic Institute to better reflect the school’s offerings. The “Agricultural and Mechanical” portion of the name was rarely used and in 1944 the name of the school changed yet again, this time to Virginia Polytechnic Institute. In 1970, after an attempt to change the name to Virginia State University, the name was officially changed to it’s current incarnation. The Virginia Tech moniker took hold in the late ‘70s.

Until 1932, every able-bodied male student was required to participate for four years in the Virginia Tech Corps of Cadets. The requirement was changed to two years until 1964, when participation became voluntary. Women were allowed in a separate unit in 1973 and were fully integrated in 1979. Virginia Tech remains one of three public universities in the country (along with Texas A&M and North Georgia College and State University) with both an active corps of cadets and "civilian" lifestyle on its campus.

Location – Blacksburg, Virginia. Founded in 1798, this town of 42,620 is dominated by the university. Located in the western end of the state, frighteningly close to West Virginia, the town is named for William Black who owned a large tract of land and laid out the plan of streets and lots. Perhaps establishing a tradition that the university followed, the town changed its name in 1893 by dropping the H in Blacksburgh.

Make no mistake – Blacksburg is no Ann Arbor. This is evident to any visitor and is painfully reflected in their respective Wikipedia articles. Ann Arbor’s “Culture” section could be an article unto itself while Blacksburg’s “Points of Interest” section is so pathetic that it includes an Osteopathic college while its “Annual Town Events” section has two events.

Nickname – Hokies. One of the two things that make Virginia Tech unique is it’s nickname. The name comes from the Old Hokie spirit yell which began with the first name change in 1896. The yell goes as follows:

Hoki, Hoki, Hoki, Hy.

Techs, Techs, V.P.I.

Sola-Rex, Sola-Rah.

Polytechs – Vir-gin-ia.

Rae, Ri, V.P.I.

Later an “e” was added to Hoki and the line “Team! Team! Team!” was added at the end. Old Hokie was the winning entry in a contest that paid $5. We’d say Virginia Tech got their money’s worth.

Although the contest winner claimed that he made up the word “Hoki,” some at Virginia Tech have claimed that the word was in fairly common usage and is equivalent to “hooray.” Sounds to KYF like someone is making this up to attach meaning to their identity.

The unofficial nickname for much of Tech’s history was the Gobblers. The name originated in 1909 when football coach Branch Bocok (yes, VT had a football team before Frank Beamer) started the “Gobbler Club” for his players. The nickname was so popular in the first half of the 20^th century that a live turkey would appear on the sidelines gobbling food during games. The Gobbler nickname usage diminished in the late ‘70s, though it lives on in the school’s mascot.

Mascot – HokieBird. The Virginia Tech mascot has its roots in the unofficial Gobbler nickname. In 1913, a local resident chosen by the student body to be the school’s mascot (these were much simpler times) had a large turkey pull him in a cart at a football game. Though Dave Brandon might have liked this idea, the university president at the time felt it was cruel to the bird and ended the practice after only one game. But the turkey returned with the man who had trained the bird to gobble on command. The live turkey mascot continued into the ‘50s. Finally, a costumed Gobbler appeared in 1962. Twenty years later the mascot was changed to something close to what appears today, and has been in its current incarnation since 1987 – a maroon cardinal with a snood. Despite the Gobbler lineage, it was named the Hokie Bird since by that time the Gobbler nickname had lost its popularity.

Colors – Maroon and Orange. This is the most unique thing about Virginia Tech and not just among college teams, but in all of American sports. No other major sports team uses this color combination. There are a number of colleges that wear maroon, mostly with gold (Minnesota, Arizona State), while others combine it with white (Mississippi State, Texas A&M). And plenty use orange. But the maroon and orange combination is one that even Arena Football teams haven’t thought of.

Surprisingly, the uniqueness of the combo is the reason they were chosen as the official colors back in 1896. Before that the school’s athletes wore black and cadet-gray uniforms to recognize the civilian cadet presence on campus. But in 1896 a committee was formed to pick new colors since the school had recently changed their name and had a new nickname. The committee selected burnt orange and Chicago maroon (hey, a Big Ten reference) after discovering that no other college used the combination.

Logo/Helmet – Virginia Tech went to a stylized “VT” logo in 1983 and has used it on their helmet ever since, with “throwback” exceptions. Why the consistency with this logo when just about every school changes theirs (and with Tech’s propensity to change their name)? Well the logo and helmet was the one that’s been in use since just before the arrival of football coach Frank Beamer and with his massive success at the school, there’s no way they’re going to change it.

The Hokies have used the VT combination as the logo on their helmet almost continuously since the mid-‘60s. The only exception was during the early ‘70s when they tried to associate themselves more closely with the state of Virginia by having a silhouette of the state on the helmet (sort of how Sparty used to have the big state of Michigan on their basketball court). But most Hokie fans probably thought it was some sort of hat and the team went back to using the big V with a smaller T on top. But that also likely proved confusing – why would the T come first, and many fans probably wondered why the team had TV on their helmets when their team was almost never shown on television.

Fight Song – Tech Triumph. Composed by a Tech student in 1919, the tune is pretty generic college marching fare. Not terrible, but certainly not in the upper echelon of so many of the Big Ten schools’ fight songs. But the lyrics....oh, the lyrics. Part of the lyrics sound like they come from a forlorn lover’s lament (refences to being true and faithful, proclaiming “our hearts are with you,” and “we will greet you with a glad returning,” and TWO references to DYING!). Meanwhile, many lines in the chorus are at least suggestive and could substitute for descriptions of an adult film (“Just watch our men so big and active,” “We know our ends and backs are stronger,” and “To see our team plow through the line, boys.”). KYF does like the reference to the Old Hokie yell at the end.

Techmen, we're Techmen, with spirit true and faithful,

Backing up our teams with hopes undying;

Techmen, Oh, Techmen, we're out to win today,

Showing pep and life with which we're trying;

V.P., old V.P., you know our hearts are with you

In our luck which never seems to die;

Win or lose, we'll greet you with a glad returning,

You're the pride of V.P.I.

Chorus:

Just watch our men so big and active

Support the Orange and Maroon. Let's go Techs.

We know our ends and backs are stronger,

With winning hopes, we fear defeat no longer.

To see our team plow through the line, boys.

Determined now to win or die:

So give a Hokie, Hokie, Hokie, Hi,

Rae, Ri, old V.P.I.

Academics – According to the most recent U. S. News” ranking of America's Best Colleges, Virginia Tech is a solid, if unspectacular 71^st, which, coincidentally, ties them with their little brother counterpart Sparty. This ranking would put them near the bottom of the Big Ten, ahead of only Indiana (#75) and Nebraska (#101).

Athletics – Unitl the arrival of head football coach Frank Beamer in 1987, the Viriginia Tech athletic program was essentially non-existent on any sort of national basis Their biggest rival was the Virginia Military Institute. After playing as an independent since 1965, the Hokies moved to the Big East in 1991 and then to the ACC in 2004 (after being rejected by the conference in 1965 and 1997, while big brother Univeristy of Virginia has been in the ACC since 1954.)

Football dominates the athletic landscape at Tech, and for good reason. In the 25 years under Beamer, the Hokies have won over two-thirds of their games and currently have the third-longest bowl streak at 19 (trailing only Florida State and Florida) and their streak of eight straight 10+ win seasons is the best in the nation. Only Boise State and LSU have better records than Virginia Tech since 2004. Furthermore, the Hokies played in the national championship game following the 1999 season. All of this success has been under Beamer who played at VT and has been the head coach since 1987. Beamer is currently the longest-tenured and winningest active coach in Division I. The Hokies had some success prior to Beamer’s arrival, but it was in the obscurity of the Southern Conference, or as a lower-echelon independent. There were six minor bowl appearances prior to Beamer as head coach, while this year’s Sugar Bowl will be Va. Tech’s 19^th with him as coach, including eight BCS bowls.

The Hokies field 19 varsity sports (Michigan has 27), but has had limited success at any other sport outside football.  The school has never won a national title in a varsity sport, though it has won a national title in the non-varsity sport of bass fishing.  (yes, bass fishing).  The basketball team has been better as of late, but still has only been to eight NCAA tournaments and hasn’t been beyond the second round since 1967.

Famous alums – The list of famous Virginia Tech alumni is about as thin as any I've seen in all the years I've been doing Know Your Foe, although they do have seven Medal of Honor recipients including Major Lloyd W. Williams who supposedly uttered one of the more famous quotes of WWI: "Retreat?  Hell!  We just got here."

VT alums include some astronauts, some anonymous CEOs, and even a Miss America from 1979. But  the only recognizable names are athletes, and mostly football players: Micheal Vick, Bruce Smith, DeAngelo Hall, and Don Strock who all wore the maroon and orange.

The list also contains plenty of local politicians but, alas, no U.S. Presidents.

The Game – Michigan’s season is already a success in most people’s eyes regardless of the outcome of the Sugar Bowl. Only the most wild-eyed optimists could have envisioned 10 wins, breaking the losing streak to tOSU, and re-establishing the Wolverines in the national consciousness. Meanwhile, Virginia Tech went into their conference championship game with only one loss despite several lackluster wins over hapless teams such as East Carolina and Duke. The Hokies have only lost to one team, but got smoked by Clemson twice. Yet they’ve beaten some decent teams like Georgia Tech and spanked rival Virginia. Frank Beamer’s team is uninspiring but solid. But not good enough to take down Brady Hoke in his inaugural season. 

MICHIGAN - 20 
VIRGINIA TECH - 13