MZone Autopsy: Dissecting the Purdue Game

Folks, this is going to be a lot more enjoyable than our first "autopsy" feature when we were forced to cut open the corpse found buried in plastic bags outside Spartan Stadium.  

MZONE AUTOPSY REPORT: Purdue

1.  During the previous three seasons, last weekend's Purdue game is one U-M would have probably lost.  One of those dreaded "second half of the season" games that revealed Michigan to be imploding rather than improving.

But not this time.  Not this year.

Michigan stomped on an inferior opponent the way it should have, both defensively and offensively.  It was -  dare I say - like old times.  In talking to my former MZone cohort Benny yesterday, he mentioned that we still don't know how good Michigan is because we haven't beaten any good teams (ND falls into a "maybe" depending on which weekend we're talking about).  And while I agreed with him, I said the biggest difference is that, while we may indeed not be great team, Michigan is playing football at a level now that has the Wolverines beating the teams they're supposed to.  The teams Michigan used to routinely pound, with every game not being a coin flip.

Yes, I'm so damn scarred by the previous three seasons that, after Purdue's initial drive, I felt a flash of deja vu all over again.  But Michigan stayed the course and eventually put Purdue away, pretty much by halftime and certainly before the 3rd quarter was over.

How refreshing.

While we probably won't go 4-0 to end the season, I can honestly say I wouldn't be surprised if we did.  And, unlike years past (okay, three of them), I would be very surprised if we went 0-4.

2.  So that's what a running game looks like.  Boy, was it beautiful to see a Michigan player not named Denard tear up the opposition's defense on the ground.  RB Fitz Toussaint's 170 yard day (59 of it coming on a beautiful TD run in the third quarter) is the sort of output that U-M fans used to be used to.  If the Wolverines can make this a regular thing - and do it against high quality teams - look out.  It will take a hell of a load off of Denard.  Put it this way, if the Maize and Blue can establish this sort of ground game on a weekly basis, it's going to be fun to watch folks notice other good things which will happen as a result.  Like, "Wow, I didn't know Denard was such a good passer!"  Funny how that works.

3.  For the first time this season, injuries are a concern for the Wolverines.  Up until this point, Michigan has been beyond blessed in the health department.  Not anymore.  Safety Jordon Kovacs missed the game and is probably out for Iowa with a knee injury.  Left guard Ricky Barnum re-injured his ankle and had to leave the game.  And left tackle Taylor Lewan had to miss part of the game with what could be a knee injury.  With Michigan's lack of depth and four tough closing games, it's not good.  But as Coach Hoke said about the injuries, "That's football."

4.  The "Rocket Man" entrance of the game ball was cool as hell.



About the only negative was that this was the loudest thing inside The Big House on Saturday.  I'm actually mildly surprised nobody yelled "down in front" at the guy as he flew past.

5.  Shame on the students.  Where the hell were you?!  You can see it in the "Rocket Man" video above as well as many of the YouTube vids posted: the students simply didn't show up.  No, I'm not talking "late arriving," I mean the student section NEVER FILLED UP (the pink cancer "M" students were trying to form had holes in it the entire game).  Not gonna put up much about this now because I think this deserves its own post.  But there is no excuse and it's just sad. 

6. I think Michigan won twice yesterday: By beating Purdue and hearing about Sparty losing to Nebraska.

7. A safety?! You remember what those are, don't you?  Can you believe it had been EIGHT YEARS since U-M's defense last recorded one (vs. Houston in 2003).  I don't want to say U-M fans are shocked to see such things after Gerg and the last three years, but check out the fan video of the safety below.  There was less pandemonium by the dude working the camera in CLOVERFIELD when he was being chased by the giant monster.



8. Man, I really enjoy beating Danny Hope. Especially since we probably don't have that many more years to do it.

Know Your Foe - Purdue 2011

Saturday marks Michigan's homecoming game as the 6-1 Wolverines welcome Purdue to The Big House.  This will be the 57th meeting between the two schools, with Michigan winning last year's contest, 27-16.  But those are the facts you can find anywhere.  Below is the stuff you didn't know in another death-defying edition of Know Your Foe.

"Hey, IU -- blow me!"

History: Purdue was founded as a land grant college on May 6, 1869 when the Indiana General Assembly accepted a $150K donation and 100 acres of land from Lafayette businessman John Purdue to establish a college of science, technology, and agriculture in his name. But it wasn’t just the Morrill Act and Purdue's love of education that got the school started. It was spite. Purdue had been denied a professorship at Indiana University. So to help Indiana students have an alternative to the school in Bloomington, Purdue donated the money and land to help start the school that would bear his name.  Classes first began at Purdue on September 16, 1874 with 39 students. Purdue issued its first degree, not surprisingly a Bachelor of Science, in 1875.

As a side note, Mr. Purdue’s is buried on campus near the Union Building, which is surprising since we at the MZone thought it was hidden inside that giant drum they wheel around the football field.

Location: West Lafayette, Indiana. Purdue is the flagship of the six campuses within the Purdue University System, one of the largest university systems in the United States. It is situated in Tippecanoe County about 65 miles northwest of Indianapolis. The place is named in honor of General Lafayette, a French military hero who fought with the Continental Army during the American Revolutionary War.

Can't be all bad in WL, right?

While Andy claimed in a previous KYF to have known some nice looking Purdue grads, he also noted this in no place to go looking for girls. According to the 2000 US Census, for every 100 females age 18 and over, there were 137.2 males in West Lafayette.  This unusual distribution can be explained by Purdue's strong academic programs in male-dominated fields such as engineering.  Whatever the reason, the MZone hereby motions to rename West Lafayette as Sausage, Indiana.

Nickname: Boilermakers.  The nickname dates back to 1891 when a local reporter referred to the football team as “Boiler Makers” following a 44-0 whitewash of Wabash College. The title of the story was called “Slaughter of Innocents” (which is an apt description of the previous three years of Michigan Football). The next year the student newspaper (still called the Exponent) began using the name and it stuck. As far as nicknames go, this one is a true original. Purdue is the only college known as the Boilermakers.

Before becoming the Boilermakers, Purdue’s sports teams had a bunch of silly industrial/farming names, including the surreal “Clod Mashers and Lunch Punishers from the wilds of Tippecanoe County”. Other names were the Corn Huskers, Rail Splitters, Haymakers, LogHaulers, Blacksmiths, Sluggers, Hayseeds, Pumpkin-shuckers and my personal favorite: Cornfield Sailors...not that there's anything wrong with that.

Kiddie ride? Nope. Purdue's mascot

Mascot: The Boilermaker Special has been the official mascot of Purdue University since 1940. It essentially is a Victorian-era railroad locomotive built on a truck chassis. The Special was originally designed to demonstrate Purdue's engineering programs. It is "street legal" and can be driven on expressways at a top speed of 65mph and it attends all of Purdue’s football games home & away. Hats bearing the logos of defeated opponents are attached to the Boilermaker Special's cow-catcher (which leaves it pretty empty some years). There is a smaller version (called the X-Tra) for indoor events. The Special is operated, maintained, and funded by the unfortunately named Purdue Reamer Club.

Just to be confusing, the official mascot of Purdue athletics since 1940 has been Purdue Pete. He began as a logo for the campus bookstore. He made his first physical appearance as the athletics mascot at a pep rally in 1956. Pete has lost his head several times, literally. They lost his original paper-mache head in 1962 on the way back from Iowa City. The head was in the back of the Boilermaker Special when a strong gust of wind blew it out into the road. The crew stopped the Special and searched for hours for the head without any luck. The only thing they found was little piece of the shoulder pad.

About the only think missing from Purdue Pete, in our opinion, is a super 'stache in honor of the apparent coaching pre-req at PU.

Colors/Logo/Helmet: In 1887 Purdue University adopted its school colors, Old Gold and Black. These distinctive colors were inspired by the brass and iron found on the steam engine Lafayette that passed through the state (OK, we get it -- you like trains). Unlike Big Ten teams Iowa and Minnesota, the Purdue gold is actually gold, not yellow.

They use a “forward moving P,” as their primary logo. This logo is nice clean and basic. They have also used various versions of a train engine as an alternative logo. Again, it is a uniquely Purdue symbol and there is no confusing it with any other college logo.


Considering they have not had a ton of success as a football program, they have a pretty stable helmet history. In the early 1950’s Purdue’s helmets looked a little bit like the Michigan helmets without the wings. They went to a “numbers on the side” period in the 1960’s until they went with the current gold with a black P in the early 1970’s. However, for some reason during the last two years of the Fred Akers era they had a two-year fling with black helmets (1989 and 1990).

When Drew Brees led Purdue to the 2001 Rose Bowl, they wore a special “Rose Bowl” version of the helmet. I think it looked great because it combined the classic Purdue style with the very special (and rare, as it only happened once before in '67) occasion of the Rose Bowl visit.

Fight Song Hail Purdue! is the official fight song of Purdue University. The lyrics were written by James Morrison, to the tune set by Edward Wotawa in 1913. The song was initially titled "Purdue War Song" and was dedicated to the Varsity Glee Club, of whom Wotawa was a member.  The lyrics also talk about friendship, and time spent together, so it starts to devolve into a poem a guy would write to a girlfriend he just dumped, but overall a solid fight song.



Hail Purdue
To your call once more we rally,
Alma Mater, hear our praise;
Where the Wabash spreads its valley,
Filled with joy our voices raise.
From the skies in swelling echoes
Come the cheers that tell the tale,
Of your vic'tries and your heroes,
Hail Purdue! We sing all hail!

Hail, hail to old Purdue!
All hail to our old gold and black!
Hail, hail to old Purdue!
Our friendship may she never lack,
Ever grateful ever true,
Thus we raise our song anew,†
Of the days we've spent with you,
All hail our own Purdue.

When in after years we're turning,
Alma Mater, back to you,
May our hearts with love be yearning,
For the scenes of old Purdue.
Back among your pathways winding
Let us seek what lies before,
Fondest hopes and aims e'er finding,
While we sing of days of yore.


Academics: The reputation of Purdue as a top engineering school is well known. It was the first university in America to award an aviation engineering degree under the direction of the Wright brothers. Purdue was the first university in the country to offer college credit for flight training, and the first to offer a degree in aviation. Over the last ten years, Purdue has awarded more aerospace engineering degree than any other school, and awards more engineering degrees to women than any college in the country. It’s known as the cradle of astronauts, and has one of the largest international student populations of any public university in the U.S.

According to the latest US News and World Reports rankings, Purdue comes in #62.  Not exactly Michigan, but more importantly to John Purdue -- higher ranked than Indiana!

Athletics: Purdue was a charter member of the Big Ten and played a central role in its creation. They have an intense rivalry with Indiana in all sports. The Boilermakers battle the Hoosiers on the football field each year to win the Old Oaken Bucket. Purdue leads the series by a wide margin. Found on a farm in southern Indiana, the oaken bucket is one of the oldest football trophies in the nation. The winner of game gets to add a bronze "P" or "I" chain link and keep the trophy until the next face-off. Ironically, the first competition in 1925 led to a 0-0 tie, resulting in the first link on the chain being an "IP."

It is good that they battle so hard with Indiana, because in over 100 years of Big Ten football the Boilermakers haven’t really battled anyone else. They have won only one non-shared conference championship (1929) and have only shared of seven others. Only two of those co-championships have taken place in the last 55 years.

But in basketball it is a different story -- Boilermaker Basketball teams have won more Big Ten Championships than any other conference school, with 27 (Men 21 and Women 6). The guys have been to two Final Fours and the ladies three. The Purdue Women won the NCAA title 1999 while the Men were voted NCAA Champs in 1932 (before the NCAA tourney).

The rest of the Boilermakers athletic teams are just plain weak. In this century, they’ve only won a handful of Big Ten titles. They show no historical conference dominance in any sport. Their only other national championships have come in golf (1961 Mens and 2010 Ladies).

Purdue's Popcorn Engineer

Famous alums: Purdue alumni have headed corporations, held federal offices, founded television networks, and flown through space. Purdue’s distinguished faculty have won Nobel prizes, solved long-standing riddles in science, headed government agencies, and received countless awards. Famous Purdue people include: Russell Games Slayter, inventor of fiberglass; Harold Gray, creator of Little Orphan Annie; George Peppard, movie actor; Orville Redenbacher, popcorn king; and Ruth Siems, inventor of stove top stuffing. They have a nice list of famous athletes including legendary basketball coach John Wooden; NFL Hall of Fame coach Hank Stram; and Pro Bowl QBs Drew Brees, Len Dawson, and Bob (you can call me Brian's Dad) Griese. I would be remiss without mentioning that former Lions QB and current SEC lobbyist Gary Danielson went to Purdue. It is sad to see that a guy that went to high school in Michigan and attended a Big Ten School can be such a blow-hard against his midwestern football roots.

As I mentioned above, Purdue is known as the "Cradle of Astronauts". They have graduated 22 NASA astronauts, including the first and last men to walk on the moon. Pretty impressive. The most recognizable Purdue Space Man is Neil Armstrong. So yes, Purdue beats Michigan in the race to space -- but they have no US Presidents.  White House, Bitches!

The Game:  The previous two years, this is the point at which the bottom begins to fall out of the Michigan season: quick start, crappy ending.  But I just can't believe Brady's Boys will let that happen.  I can't.  Not again.  Not on homecoming.  Against a Danny Hope-coached team.

This game will be no cakewalk as Purdue stepped up and smacked Illinois last weekend on the road.  But that's more of a Zooker issue that something that can be attributed to Purdue props.

No, I think MSU was not the "beginning of the end," but rather just a stumble.  And tomorrow Denard has his best game of the season.

Michigan - 34
Purdue - 24

Danny Hope's Next Job

As our friend Michigan Sports Girl of @SupportBradyHoke pointed out, apparently a super 'stache must be part of the job description for the Purdue head coaching job (which makes them look like a motorcycle cop, giant douchebag, or both).

Here's current coach Danny Hope...

"Step out of the vehicle please, ma'am."

...Who replaced Joe Tiller...

"He said, Step out of the vehicle.
Don't make me tase you!"

...Who was often mistaken for actor Wilford Brimley...

This is NOT Joe Tiller, though Purdue teams often play
like the cast of COCOON

...But never Sam Elliot from The Big Lebowski...

"Way out west - West Lafayette,
actually -  there was this coach..."

But let's face it, the Purdue head coaching job isn't exactly a long-term employment opportunity.  So the MZone brain trust got together to bat around some suggestions for Hope when the time comes for his inevitable post-Boilermaker job search.  Let's face it, with his look, he should have no problem landing one of the jobs below.


MOTORCYCLE COP

As mentioned above, this really is the obvious choice.  But it goes both ways.

Danny Hope's next job...or Purdue's next coach?

70s PORN STAR

Sure, the time travel part might be tough. But with Hope's look, it might be worth overcoming the technical difficulties.

"Wanna see my 4-4 stack?"

FORMER PRESIDENT TEDDY ROOSEVELT

Again, there are the time travel issues. But if Hope's only "attribute" is the 'stache - thus ruling out the 70s porn star - might be worth a shot.

...Especially when you consider that Joe Tiller pulled a SOMEWHERE IN TIME and is currently William Howard Taft in an alternate reality...

FOX NEWS "REPORTER" JOHN STOSSEL

Might be some overlap here with the 70s Porn Star.

"Is that a candle?  You tell me."

So, did we forget anything?  Leave us your suggestion for Danny Hope's post-Purdue job in the comments section.